Timeout with Jesus

I wake up in the morning and discover that my husband has risen early and prepared a fresh batch of waffle mix for breakfast. I feel grateful. The baby wakes up and his diaper is soaked through and the crib is soiled. I feel tired. My ten-year-old offers to change the crib while I clean up the baby. I feel proud. Our 15-year-old twins storm down the stairs. Mark has taken Matthew’s library book again and is spoiling the story by reading ahead aloud. They’re fighting over the book, again. It’s the third day this week they have fought over this book. Frustration is setting in. While I am sorting out the book issue and cleaning up the baby, Daniel has taken over waffle making for his younger siblings. I feel proud again. Daniel is easily distracted and now the waffles are burning. The house is filling with smoke. Anger takes hold. I yell. Kids cry. I cry. As a woman, it is easy to get caught up in the emotional rollercoaster of daily life. How is a mother to deal with the everyday stresses that surround us and threaten to rob us of every joy of motherhood? In the words of St. Padre Pio, we are to “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.” Pray. Hope. Don’t worry. These are some of the most soothing words I have ever heard. A dear friend shared these words from St. Pio with me several years ago and they have resounded in my mind repeatedly ever since. The scene I described above has occurred far too often in my home. Sometimes I weather the storm like a trooper; sometimes I am too weak to stay on my feet. Someone once told me, “If Mama is happy, everyone is happy.” These are words of great wisdom. They’re truthfulness has been proven repeatedly in my own home. But who exactly is in control of this domestic bliss? Who’s responsibility is it to ensure that Mama remains cheerful? It is mine. Domestic peacefulness is the greatest desire of every mother’s heart. This desire can be expressed in many different ways. Usually, a woman’s desire for peace sounds something like this: “I wish the kids would do their chores.” Or “I wish the trash wasn’t always so full.” Or maybe, “I wish the kids would share with each other.” “I wish the se diapers didn’t leak.” You get the idea. You know exactly what I’m talking about because you’re a mother. You’ve expressed these same wishes many times in your own life. Unfortunately, all the wishing in the world is not going to get our houses to clean themselves, our kids to behave perfectly, or the diapers to stop leaking. So what’s a woman to do? We pray. When life begins to overwhelm me, I have to find a quiet spot to spend a moment in silence. I need a timeout with the Lord. When I was young and having difficulty controlling my behavior, my mother would give me a time out. She had these two big, black milk cans that she used to store flour and sugar in, which also doubled as our timeout stools. Whenever we fought, my brother and I would have to sit on the milk cans and face the wall until our tempers cooled and we were willing to apologize. Sometimes, I would pretend to forgive my brother for the evil he had committed against me (because of course, it was always my brother’s fault that we were fighting in the first place), and he would play along in order that we could trick our mother into believing unification had been restored between her children and we would be freed from our cast iron prison stools. As soon as she said the words that released us from our bondage, I would run to my room and play by myself and my brother would go off his way and play by himself, both of us fearing that she would realize she had been duped if we stayed too near to each other and another fight began. What a fool, I thought. Mom knew better though. Her house was peaceful and quiet, the kids were no longer tormenting each other, and she was back to joyfully humming her way through the dishes. Maybe mom wasn’t the fool after all. Often women confuse peace for perfection. We can have a tendency to look at our lives and say, “If these things are in order and these events go as I have planned, then I will have peace.” But God does not promise that if we follow our schedules to a T we will find happiness. No, the joy is in following God’s plans to the best of our ability, and being always humble in the knowledge that we often times fall short of His perfect Will, but that’s okay. Peace is found when we accept that God has a plan for our lives which is infinitely more suited for our salvation than the plans of our own. Accepting God’s will in our lives is the only way to bring true peace to our souls. So how do we stay in tune with God’s will for our lives? The answer can be found on that old, black milk can from my mother’s kitchen. Sometimes, we just need a timeout in our day. Daily timeouts are so important, in fact, that we are asked to schedule them into our day and also allow for intervention timeouts whenever the need arises. We call these timeouts prayer. Every woman needs a place in her home where she can go to spend time with Our Lord. Of course it would be wonderful if we could sneak out to the church every day for a visit with our Eucharistic Lord and sit quietly reflecting before the Tabernacle, but in the business of daily life, often that is just not available to us. A nice room in the house where we can build a prayer room with a comfy chair, some religious pictures or statues, and spiritual books would be lovely, but some of us do not have the extra space. No matter what your circumstances, God will provide for you the time and space that you need to make yourself available to Him for a little one on one each day. For some of us that space is the little nook in the far corner of the master bathroom behind the dummy wall with a pair of noise cancelling headphones on to drown out the banging from the outer door. It may sound silly, but hey, it works. Peace is the Will of God for each of us, although he does not necessarily send us peace of circumstance. Many are called to the stress of the corporate work force, others to the craziness of homeschool days filled with the needs of many children, and others still the business of caring for our extended family or preparing kids for their days at school and running carpools to and from soccer. No matter which path we have been called to, there is business in our lives. I’ve never heard anyone complain that there was too much time available to them for quiet reflection. But with the proper care taken to ensure that we spend some time each day in silent prayer, reflecting on the will of God in our lives that day, we can obtain peace in our souls no matter what the circumstance. In the words of Padre Pio, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.” God is in control. Take a timeout with Jesus!