When the kids just don't get it

A Friend of mine was telling me in an email about this great Mass that she had planned to take her family to and how it's a teaching Mass and is such a great opportunty for her family and how her son, being a typical teenager, doesn't really want to go. He doesn't see the value in it and that is weighing on this poor mother's heart. Here's my response to her via email. I hope it helps you as well. Sometimes I think the hardest thing in life is striving so hard to give our children these opportunities and having them be completely uninterested and unable to see the value in what we are showing or offering them. Today, Bill needed some of the boys to go with him to load his trailer with firewood that was given to us. It's a huge gift that will save us a ton of money in heating cost. Of course the boys are just beside themselves that they will not get paid money to do the job. They just don't get it. At first I was angry with them, but Bill told me,"Don't worry, someday they'll remember these times and feel sorrow for their selfish thoughts and they will have learned from the experience." I know he's right. When I was young my mom was single and worked constantly to pay the rent and put food on the table. I had a summer babysitting job making $150 cash every week. Did I ever once stop to think about how hard my mom was working or how much she was struggling? Did I ever offer to help with the rent, food, or even to buy my own school clothes? No. I spent my money buying pizza for myself and all of my friends, and gifts for people to try to make them like me. I look back on those days now and I feel sad that I didn't see my mother's needs and try to help her. My mom never approached me for help, but I wonder how I would have responded had she asked me. I honestly don't know. What I do know is that as a mom, I see everything as a grown up and I sometimes forget that these kids are all still just kids, even the big ones. Does it excuse them for their behavior? No. But what it does do is give me hope that the constant struggle is worth it. Although they may kick and scream and we often feel like throwing in the towel, we just can't give up. We must press on for our children! Fear not Mamas. We will rest in Heaven when our work is done!!

The Little Terrorist

My two-year-old is a terrorist. I know, that's really an awful thing to say about my own child, but that's how it feels lately. He is constantly throwing things at people, crumpling our school papers, beating up his big sister, and genearlly reaking havok in our home. Some days I don't understand how I ended up with eleven children. I look at his naughty behavior and ask myself, "Were they all like this? How could I possibly have gone through this 9 times before?" But the fact is, yes, they were all like this. In fact, in some ways, they still are. Actually, the more I think about it, I'm still like this myself. You see, I am a lot like my son in many ways. Granted, I don't throw laundry around or bite my siblings, but I do fight with all my might against the will of my Heavenly Father. God has a beautiful plan for my life and I know that if I were to follow that plan, I would be happy. That's not to say I would never be tired, or that I would always get to do what I wanted, but I would be happy in the peace of knowing that I am doing the Will of God. But the reality of this earthly life, is that it is in our fallen nature to fight against what is good for us. Just try piling a heap of cauliflower on your kid's plate and you'll see what I mean. We don't want the good stuff. We don't like the good stuff. It doesn't taste good. But if we could only lay aside our own, fallen, imperfect wills for just a moment and focus on the beautiful, holy Will of the One who made us, we would see that He is the only one who knows how to make us truly happy. Lord, help me to lay down my life today in union with your Holy and perfect Will. Help me to die to myself when things don't go my way. When my toddler throws the laundry, help me to refold it with love. When my daughter whines about her school, help me guide her with tenderness. Help me, O Lord, to put aside my wanton desires and to strive to see you in the daily challenges of my life. Help me to see my duties as wife and mother, not as drudgery to be avoided or minimalized, but as oportunities to grow closer to my family and to serve You with a loving heart so that someday I may rest peacefully in your Divine Presence. Amen.