What if she's not ready?

Ten days from now we will send off our first child to college. It's a whirlwind of emotions for all of us. She, having wanted nothing more from life than to get out of the house and explore the world, is now trembling at the thought of being on the other end of the east coast, unable to come home at will. I, being a very attached and enabling mother, want to tell her it's okay if she doesn't go. But the fact is, I know it's not okay. She has to overcome her fears and she needs to experience this chapter in her life. But what if she's chosen the wrong college? or the wrong major? What if she hates it there and she's miserabe? What if she fails out? Did I prepare her well enough to survive the rigors of college life? What if she loves it and doesn't want to come home? So many times in our lives as parents, we come across challenges that make us want to throw in the perverbial towel, to question all of the decisions we've made in the raising of our children. Be it a young adult afraid of going out on their own, or a toddler who insists that eating the green stuff on his dinner plate will take away his super powers, parenting can be a great challenge, and sometimes it seems it would be easier to just give in. So what is a mother to do when she feels overwhelmed by the business of life and fears she's doing things all wrong? Pray. All we really can do as parents is to follow the advise of St. Padre Pio. We have to "pray, hope, and don't worry." God in his infinite love and mercy knows what is best for us and our children and if we pray and put our trust in Him, He will see us through these challenges. We will still make mistakes and there will always be bumps in the road, but by entrusting all to our Divine Redeemer, we are assured that in the end, all will be well and we will be with him in paradise. College or not, here or there, the goal of each parent should be this, to see our darling children again in Heaven. If this can be accomplished, all else will be forgotten. Stand strong mamas, and know that God has got your back!

Laying down our burdens

It has been my experience that people often try to unload their burdens by sharing them with their dearest friends. The problem with this is that one burden unloaded becomes another burden taken up. Thus, the friend who has just received the burden often feels the need to seek out another dear friend onto whom they might be able to unload their new found burden. Thus begins a vicious cycle known as gossip. Often gossip is not intended, but brought on by the fact that so many of us place our burdens on those who do not have the supernatuaral grace to be able to bare them. God is good, however, and thus we have Confession. Confession, being one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church, and having been instituted by Christ Himself, is accompanied by great graces. The grace of the sacrament is not only that which is received by the penitent, but also, that which is gifted to the Confessor, the priest, himself. God is so good, He knows our fallen natures and He sees our weaknesses. Being a merciful God, He provides for His priests the unearthly ability to allow the burdens of others to channel through their mortal bodies to the Heart of our loving Father in heaven who is then able, as only God is, to forgive and forget. The priest, in persona Christi, as Christ Himself, is able to confer this forgiveness on the penitent and true relief is achieved, without the burden being passed through the continuous chain of gossip and eventually causing more hurt than anyone had ever imagined. My prayer for all of us, both reader and writer, is that we will take to the Confessional with all haste. Run to the sacrament when our hearts are heavy laden. Allow Christ, through His priests, to provide us with the relief our our burdens that only He, as our loving God, can do. Be a good friend to others, and lay down your burdens at the feet of the almighty God.

half-minded baking

Sometimes I wonder why God gave me all of these kids. I mean really? Eleven kids is a lot of responsibility. What makes me worthy? Why did God choose me? Today, I think He gave them to me to eat my mistakes. Seriously. I have a tendancy at times to do things half minded. You know, like getting into the car and driving on auto pilot, only to discover I'm going in the oposite direction than I need to be going. So today, I was in the kitchen making cookies with a new recipe from my friend, Kirsten. I got through the wet ingredients and pulled out the bowl and started in ont he dry stuff. Half looking at the recipe, I added a teaspoon of salt. Looking back at the recipe card, I notice it calls for 1/2 a teaspoon of salt. Now I'm not a big salt fan anyway, but I know what double salt can do to a batch of cookies. No problem, I have eleven kids after all, I'll just double the recipe. So I continue with the dry ingredients, doubling everything, then I return to the wet bowl and double that. After combining the two and stirring well, I get to thinking, "that looks kinda gross". It was very buttery. So I look back at the recipe and then at a stick of butter. Yah. A stick of butter is 1/2 cup, not 1/4 cup. I quadrupaled the butter! I don't really want to make a quadrupal batch of chocolate crinkle cookies, I know what kind of damage that could do to my efforts to slim down, but at this point, I'm not about to waste all these ingredients. So, on I go adding another double set of everything else. In the end I had so much batter, it took two days to bake it all. You might think all those cookies would last forever, that they'd go bad before we could eat them all. Well, in a house with thirteen people, there's only one way to make them last past day one, I had to lock those babies up in the safe! You got that right. The only way to keep some of those puppies from being devoured by the masses was to put them in with the guns until I could safely trasport them to a venue where my little monsters would be able to share them reather than having a dozen each. And thankfully that opportunity came soon, because although they were safe from the kids, I know the code. And crinkle cookies are oh so good!!

Quiet Time

Today is a very rare day. Eight of the children are at our friend's house and two have gone to the firing range with their dad and uncle. That leaves me home with only the baby! This never happens. At first, I thought it was really nice. The baby was asleep in his crib and I was enjoying the absolute silence of this peaceful house. I thought for a while about what I should do. Clean? No. Watch tv? No. Read a book? No. Then I decided to just do nothing. I did nothing for about ten minutes, then I was bored. So, I checked my email. Then I sat again and tried to do nothing. Again, I found myself to be overwhelmingly bored. So I called a friend and then checked my Facebook. Then I was bored again. Why is it that I can not seem to sit in silence for five minutes? Is it because my life is so busy all the time? Is it because there's so much I could be doing? Or is it because silence is scary? I think it's because silence can be a frightening thing. As we enter the first full week of Lent, we are asked to spend some time in the silence. Today at Mass, our pastor retold us the story of Jesus spending forty days in the desert being tempted by the devil. Sitting in the silence of my own home made me wonder just how difficult that must have been. I know He is God and He is not subject to the same sinful nature that I am, but the Church does tell ust he Christ was tempted in the desert. I think the trouble for me is that in the silence, the devil is able to tempt us very easily. I know I am an easy target for temptation because I do not spend much time in silence. When I do have the rare occasion to be still, my mind easily wanders into all sorts of places that I should not go. Gossipy thoughts and nosey wonders quickly fill my mind. I can get lost in the lives of others and the questions that fill my head about their moves and motives. So should I flee the silence? Should I avoid this near occasion of sin all together? No. I believe that God calls each of us, especially during this holy season of preparation, to come to Him in silence. To release all of our worries and anxieties, and to be still. He wants to speak to our hearts. He wants to tell us how we can be closer to Him. We are not called to turn away from the silence, but rather to embrace it, give it to God, and ask Him to fill this silence with His peace. Only then will He be able to speak to us and let us know His will for our lives. Silence can be a scary thing for someone like me whose days and even nights are so filled with noise and activity, but if we want to grow closer to God, we have to embrace the stillness and open our hearts to His love. "Be still and know I am God." Psalm 46:10