“Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord”

Sunday morning I woke up at 6am with the baby and made my way downstairs to change yet another leaky diaper. “What is that thing on the floor?” I wondered. It’s a mousetrap. Wait, no, it’s half a mousetrap! And thus it begins. I sit down with my freshly cleaned baby on the couch to nurse, ignoring the mess in hopes to enjoy the one time of the day when I am actually able to feed my baby naturally and out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of something else on the floor. It’s cellophane with orange crumbs. Instantly I am aware of an even greater situation. Something is terribly wrong. I walk slowly into the kitchen with half a hope in my heart, but alas, my suspicions are confirmed. The pumpkin bread I stayed up late preparing for Sunday breakfast is gone. Stolen from my kitchen counter and devoured by dogs! Two loaves of delicious, fresh bread, stolen! I look around at the damage. Trash is spread from one end of the room to the other. Dog poop is piled high, blocking the entrance to the room, and the counter where the bread lay the night before, the only clean spot in the room. I can feel my blood beginning to boil! I dash up the stairs to do what any grown woman would do in this situation, tell Daddy! How is a woman to keep peace in her soul in this situation? So many days begin and end like the scene I woke up to this morning. So many times, my well laid plans for the day are turned upside down by the tumultuous deeds of dogs, kids, or my husband. Sometimes, my mother even comes into play. Don’t get me wrong, I love them all dearly, even my mother, but the simple fact is, they tend to mess up my plans an awful lot. You see, I have an agenda. Each and every day, I wake up with thoughts in my mind about what needs to be done and how the day should play out. Of ten I lay in my bed in the morning while everyone else is still delighting in their dreams, and I plan. Yes, I create in my very own mind a picture of that day, and it is perfect! The only problem with that picture perfect day that I plan out in my mind is that sometimes, no most times, my beautifully mastered plans do not coincide with God’s plans for my day. Now that’s the bummer right there. Did God cause my dogs to destroy my breakfast and wreak havoc in my home this morning? Does it give him joy that I should wake up to this kind of chaos? Of course not. So what is a girl to do? Where does one find peace in the tumultuous occurrences of daily life? This peace can be found only at the foot of the cross. People often see me and hear about my family and ask, “How do you do it?” or simply volunteer that I am much greater than they are for they “could never do it”. But the fact is, I can’t do it either! But with God, all things are possible. My husband and I have been married 17 years and are the proud parents to 18 chickens, two dogs, one bunny, and nearly a dozen natural offspring. Our house is filled from one end to the other with people, toys, and homeschooling paraphanelia. Our security system is that of millions of tiny Legos that would trip up even the stealthiest of burglers in the dark of night and quite often myself in the light of day. This place is crazy to say the least. Ah, yes, I find myself daily at the foot of the cross. The beauty, however, of going daily to this place of mourning and perdition is that I am never alone. There is a woman there, a mother, who never leaves. She remains there, her eyes fixed on her son, and receives from Him, all of humanity as her children. This is where I find my peace. In the ups and downs and daily trials of this earthly life, it is easy to lose our peace and to fall prey to the emotional traps set forth by the devil to trip us up and draw us from the foot of the cross. We must remain steadfast and keep our eyes fixed upon Him. If we do this, His mother, our mother, will reach over and wrap her loving arm around us. She will place her mantle of love over us and we will be sheltered in her tender gaze. This is where we will find our peace. Only by becoming like the mother who so readily accepted the Will of the eternal God, will we ever find true peace. Even when all is well and things seem to fall perfectly into place with our carefully laid plans, there cannot be true peace unless those plans have been taken to the foot of the cross and placed in the hands of His holy mother and offered as a gift to her divine Son. So as I return to the scene of the crime, and ponder upon God’s plan for my day, I am brought back to the foot of that cross, to the side of that beautiful mother, and I have a choice. One choice is to allow the devils taunt to enter my heart and rob me of my peace, or I can roll up my sleeves, get out my supplies, and clean my way to Heaven in the peace of the Lord. And I must remove the mouse remains from my couch!