"Here we go again, another 40 days without chocolate."

With Lent beginning again, it's time to think about how our family will prepare for the coming Passion, death, and resurrection of Our Lord. When I was a kid, we sometimes went to church but often did not. Sacraments weren't necessarily done at the usual ages, and Confession, well, I didn't really know much about that. I remember my first Confession, but I don't remember ever going to Confession after that until I was getting married. In our house things are quite different.

Lent in our home begins with the cleansing of the soul as we approach Ash Wednesday and prepare to recieve our ashes as a sign that "we are dust". Many people attend Mass on Ash Wednesday to receive their ashes, and then don't step foot back inside a church until Palm Sunday when they go to receive their palms. I once heard that Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday are the two most attended days in the church year. I don't know if that is really true or not, but it does cause me to stop and think.

Why do people go to Mass on these days? What is so special about them for people who don't ordinarily attend Mass? The answer is found in one word, receive. They go to receive their ashes and to receive their palms. The sad thing is that many Catholics, even practicing Catholics, live their lives in such a way. Many live as Catholics because of what they will receive. They worry about receiving the help of God in life, they want to receive the blessing of children, or a better job, or financial stability. Some wish to receive the esteem of being known in their parish and they serve on many committees and counsels in order to receive the praise of their fellow parishoners or their pastor.

Being Catholic is not supposed to be about what we will receive. Being Catholic is about honor and praise due to our God with no expectation of temporal reward. Lent is a perfect time to reflect on this reality and to bring it to the forefront of our daily lives.

During the season of Lent, we are called to do penance. Many people look at this and say, "Here we go again, another 40 days without chocolate." This is not the outlook God is asking us to have during this most sacred season in the church calendar.

Lent is a time of unity with Christ through penance. Penance is traditionally a three-fold action consisting of sacrifice, prayer, and almsgiving. Christ gave up the comfort and glory of Heaven to be here with us and to redeem us from our sins. Christ spent forty days in fasting and prayer in the desert where He was tempted by the devil. Once a year, the church asks us to do penance in memory of Jesus' time in the desert and in preparation for the great feast on which His mission here on Earth was completed and our redemption was fulfilled.

How do we prepare for Lent? In our house there are many opportunities to bring us closer to God during this period of preparation. First, as I mentioned before, all souls are cleansed through the healing powers of the priest in the Sacrament of Confession. Next, there is a sacrifice to be made. Each member of the family who is of the age of reason (beginning in their First Communion year) must choose something to "give up". As the spiritual guides of our children, my husband and I take an opportunity to speak privately with each child to be sure that they are making an appropriate sacrifice. Often times, they have done a good job praying about their sacrifice and have chosen something just right, but sometimes we have to tell them to either beef it up a bit, or to tone it down some. There are always one or two who try to get away with the very least sacrifice possible becasue sacrificing hurts. And there are alwasy one or two who are feeling extremely zealous when choosing their sacrifice for the season and we have to take them back a step and guide them into sacreficing something that will not put them over the edge just three days into the season! We have found in the past that this is a great source of joy for our children who are happy to offer something back to the God who they have learned has given so much for them. We usually have a toddler who want s to join in the sacrifice as well. These young children are encouraged to make one time offerings such as not having a cookie at the grocery store or a lollipop at the bank. They are too young to make a sacrifice commitment for the full forty days of Lent, but they take great pride in their little offerings to Jesus!

The next part of our Lenten penance is prayer. This is a great time to add extra Masses and chaplets to our days. Once upon a time, we used to attend daily Mass at 6:30 am as a family. With the demands of daily life and the wearriness of pregnancy, we have fallen from that routine. Lent is a great time to jump back on the bandwagon if you will. If not everyday, at least one or two extra days of the week should be offered to attending Mass. Another thing I like to do is add the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3pm. I have an alarm set in my cell phone so that no matter where we are, we can take that time and pray the chaplet and remember His sorrowful passions. The Divine Mercy Chaplet is a beautiful devotion that adds spendor to oour day. I especially like to sing this devotion with my children. If the Rosary is not part of your regular routine, I highly suggest this be added first as Our Lady is the greatest way to get closer to Jesus' Holy Heart.

The third and final aspect of our penance is in Almsgiving. In our family right now, there is not a lot of money to be had and therefore, not a lot to be given. We give our usual amount in the church collections and do try to give a little extra as well, but I also like to look at almsgiving in a greater sense than simply the giving of money. Almsgiving can be done by everyone in the home by the giving of their time, love, and assistance. Taking out the trash for someone else is a gift of one's assistance. Stopping what I am doing to listen to a child's story or concerns is a gift of my time. Taking a minute to pause and pray before responding to the frustrating actions of another is a gift of our love. All of these are ways to give alms and spread family unity and peace during this Lenten season.

I hope this entry will give you a little food for thought as you embark on your Lenten journey. This is such a wonderful time for us as Catholics to examine our lives and get things back in chech if needed. It is a time to bring our hearts and minds closer to God and to remember all the wonderful treasures that being Catholic brings to our lives. Have a happy and holy Lent, and may the peace of Christ and the Love of His Blessed Mother be with you on this journey.

Life as a Desrosiers

In the beginning there was a man and a woman.... then the kids started to come. They kept coming, and coming, and coming! Today we are awaiting the arrival of our 11th child. People always look at us in amazement and wonder out loud, "How does she do it all?" The truth is, "I don't". Large family life is a different animal all together than small family life. Even if I wanted to, which I don't, I could not possibly do all of the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the caring for by myself. I employ, first, the grace of God to help me in the duties of daily life. Secondly, I must employ the children. Each child has his or her daily duties which they are responsible for as well as their personal care. Mom does not pick up dirty laundry off of the bedroom floor for any of the children. If you want clean clothes, you need to bring down your laundry yourself. Every member of our family is responsible for a chore that effects the entire family. Whether it is to wash the table after meals, tidy up the mudroom, or gather the eggs from the chickens, each member of the family has a duty they are responsible for which effects the entire family. Some people today may think it's not fair to make children work as we do around the house. But Bill and I say "That is ridiculous!" Teaching our children to be responsible for themselves and to help one another is the greatest gift we can give them after life and family. Our children are being raised to be responsible and productive members of society.
Another thing we are teaching our children to do is to step up and help out with the needs of younger siblings. Not a child is raised in our house who can't change a diaper! In our family, you are expected to respond to the needs of others as they arise. If Tommy, our two-year-old, is looking for his chocolate milk, he can go to any one of his siblings and they will help him get it. If Dad needs help in the yard, you are expected to go out and help.
There is no allowance given in our home. The duties and responsibilities of family life are a family responsibility, and nobody gets paid to help maintain our family or our home.
Sounds like a tyranny? It's not. There is plenty of time to play and enjoy leisure time. One of the beauties of homeschooling is the speed at which the daily schoolwork can be accomplished. Every child knows what he or she is responsible for accomplishing that day and when the work is finished, the rest of the day is theirs. And when you're free to play, there are always plenty of "friends" to play with.
Large family life is noisy and busy and often cahotic to say the least, but there is a joy taht comes from life in a big family that can only be known by members of one. Having grown up with only one sibling, I am experiencing something I had never dreamed of and could never begin to explain in all its splendor and awesomeness!