Quiet Time

Today is a very rare day. Eight of the children are at our friend's house and two have gone to the firing range with their dad and uncle. That leaves me home with only the baby! This never happens. At first, I thought it was really nice. The baby was asleep in his crib and I was enjoying the absolute silence of this peaceful house. I thought for a while about what I should do. Clean? No. Watch tv? No. Read a book? No. Then I decided to just do nothing. I did nothing for about ten minutes, then I was bored. So, I checked my email. Then I sat again and tried to do nothing. Again, I found myself to be overwhelmingly bored. So I called a friend and then checked my Facebook. Then I was bored again. Why is it that I can not seem to sit in silence for five minutes? Is it because my life is so busy all the time? Is it because there's so much I could be doing? Or is it because silence is scary? I think it's because silence can be a frightening thing. As we enter the first full week of Lent, we are asked to spend some time in the silence. Today at Mass, our pastor retold us the story of Jesus spending forty days in the desert being tempted by the devil. Sitting in the silence of my own home made me wonder just how difficult that must have been. I know He is God and He is not subject to the same sinful nature that I am, but the Church does tell ust he Christ was tempted in the desert. I think the trouble for me is that in the silence, the devil is able to tempt us very easily. I know I am an easy target for temptation because I do not spend much time in silence. When I do have the rare occasion to be still, my mind easily wanders into all sorts of places that I should not go. Gossipy thoughts and nosey wonders quickly fill my mind. I can get lost in the lives of others and the questions that fill my head about their moves and motives. So should I flee the silence? Should I avoid this near occasion of sin all together? No. I believe that God calls each of us, especially during this holy season of preparation, to come to Him in silence. To release all of our worries and anxieties, and to be still. He wants to speak to our hearts. He wants to tell us how we can be closer to Him. We are not called to turn away from the silence, but rather to embrace it, give it to God, and ask Him to fill this silence with His peace. Only then will He be able to speak to us and let us know His will for our lives. Silence can be a scary thing for someone like me whose days and even nights are so filled with noise and activity, but if we want to grow closer to God, we have to embrace the stillness and open our hearts to His love. "Be still and know I am God." Psalm 46:10